Products I hate

Here is a list of commercial products that make me angry:

Shampoos 

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Yes. All of them. They can’t just be “for cleaning the filth in your hair”. No. They are “for damaged hair”, “for dry hair”, “for traumatised hair”, “for dry, damaged and traumatised hair by repressed childhood memories” and so on. By using shampoo, you have to admit that your hair is hideous and may benefit from some counselling, too.  Not that it needs a wash. That it simply sucks by default. Fuck you shampoos. I’m still going to use you, but passive-aggressively.

Dove: Men Care 

Dove_Men_Plus_Care_Hydrate_Moisturiser_50ml_FO_White_8711600742932-276482.png

No, they don’t.

Oreos

Delicious, I know! But after eating them you look like you’ve given a blow job to a coal miner. Also, the picture below is very offensive towards my Scottish friends who voted “Yes” on the independence referendum.

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Carrot cake 

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Again, delicious! Sounds healthy. Contains carrots. And up to 850 calories per slice. Yes. Go fuck yourself carrot cake, you may burn some of those trans fats in the process. My advice? Eat the rabbit in the picture instead. And if you’re vegan, you can eat the calendar (although be careful, it looks expired).

Sweaters with short sleeves 

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For which weather conditions is this appropriate? Are you supposed to buy the sleeves separately? Unless you have two prosthetic arms, this does not work.

 

 

 

 

 

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